Experts Explain Why We’re Attracted To People Who Are Bad For Us

Ever Wonder Why Your Attracted to the Same Kind Of Bad People?

When it comes to relationships we all have the idea that it should be something out of a movie or a fairy tale. With the typical boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl at first sight, boy and girl get married stories it’s easy to get swept up in the magic of it all. But when it really comes down to it, most people are attracted to the wrong person for them and their lifestyle, which leaves us wondering, why?

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There are some of us out there that meet someone who simply doesn’t like the things that we like, doesn’t understand our humor, or even has a wandering eye and truth be told, it happens to everyone. The real nagging question is why it happens to some of us over and over again. There’s a concrete psychological reason as to why we’re always attracted to the wrong people, according to Shelly Bullard who is a family and marriage therapist. It’s all because the damaged part of you is deciding who you want to be with, not your best self.

Bullard believes that there are 2 identities that we work with in our lives, our “little self” and our “Spiritual Self”. The little self is the wounded part and the Spiritual is the adult version or our “higher” self. The wounded part of your being is what constantly brings your value into question, forcing you to never really feel whole with who you are and thus, you go out searching for someone to complete you – anyone. Whereas your Spiritual Self is the part that understands wisdom, peace, and truth, never brings your worth into question, and helps you to understand just how amazing you truly are.

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The main thing to remember is that your ego is never happy as it is always searching for the next best thing, something that will make you feel more satisfied with your life whether it’s a new job, more money, or a higher level of status. It needs materialistic gratification to receive validation but regardless of how often you please your ego, it’s never truly fulfilled. By operating using only your ego, you’ll always believe that there is a part missing in your life.

Why Am I Always Attracted to the Wrong Person?

When you go through a bad relationship or a bad breakup it hangs on your soul like unnecessary baggage and you bring that with you wherever you go. This in turn attracts us to people that accentuate the feelings of hurt as your unconscious mind wants you to be able to learn from your mistakes and grow from them. Our mind goes through the process of reliving difficult times in our lives so that we can finally cope with the pain and move past it. Though this doesn’t seem to help when you realize that it’s time to start choosing people that are better for you.

To break the cycle of reliving the hurt, Bullard says that we need to take advantage of our higher self, the part of us that knows the truth about what we desire and what we need. And by doing so it will help us to find someone that will accentuate the fact that we are capable, powerful, and amazing. This is because we won’t be dragged down with the constant negative feeling of past relationships and the fact that we never felt worthy. It also puts a stop to searching for temporary validation that strokes our egos but in fact doesn’t help us to turn into the person that we truly want to be at the end of the day. It’s better to get a deeper understanding of our Spiritual Self and to ignore our little self.

When you’ve finally achieved this higher state of mind and better view of yourself and what you deserve, you’ll be able to look at past relationships and encounters and realize that those people were there to push you towards the right path. It is important that you never regret anything that you go through in life as everything is a stepping-stone to bring you to where you are today. Without the experience of being hurt, you’d never know what to avoid and what you truly deserve.

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The best advice that you can get from anyone is to take the time to first heal your own wounds before you go searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right. To have a healthy and stable relationship you need to get rid of that unnecessary baggage and don’t ever question your worth or your value as it is not only unfair to you, but it’s also unfair to the other person in your relationship. In fact, there might not be a better motivator in your life than suffering through a broken heart and learning how you’re going to put all of the pieces back together again.

My Ex Girlfriend Hates Me, Is There any Hope?

Relationships can be tricky and there really is a fine line between love and hate. This means that if your ex seems to hate you, it more than likely means you still have a chance with them. The thing about having a relationship with someone is that you need an attraction more than anything less. You don’t really have to like the other person in order to fall in love with them, but you do need to be attracted to them. This means that as long as the attraction exists, it doesn’t matter if they hate you or not, you still have a chance with them.

Hate or LoveHate or Love

The most important thing that you need to understand about an attraction is that it has nothing to do with loving or hating someone. An attraction is just there naturally and there is nothing that you can do to stop it. This means that you do not always have a choice in the people that you are attracted to. You might not make the best decisions and end up falling for people that aren’t the best option for you, but this is what happens when attraction takes control. This means that if she hates you, there is still a chance you can win her back as long as the attention still exists. The attraction that you have to one another is what matters above all else.

Bad Boys

One of the best examples of attraction winning out involves the love of “Bad Boys.” even when guys are complete jerks and treat girls poorly, they keep coming back for more because they are attracted to them. Sometimes being hated is what makes the attraction stronger for some women. Hating someone really is completely irrelevant when it comes to relationships.

Focus on Attraction

If you think that your ex hates you, there is still a chance that you can win her back as long as you focus on the attraction. This means that you need to make yourself appear the most attractive in her eyes if you really want to get things started again. Focus on the chemistry that you have between each other and let that overpower the hate. You will be surprised with the amount of women that are in relationships with guys that they clearly hate, but are also obviously attracted to.

Signs That Your Ex Wants to Get Back Together

Once you put the plan in place to get back your ex, it is important that you know how to evaluate if your technique is working. This means that you need to be aware of the most telling signs that your ex is ready to give your relationship another try. You do not have to guess when it comes to knowing if your ex is willing to get back together. There are actually some pretty big red flags that you can be on the lookout for that indicate your ex is willing to give you another chance. You just need to know what to look for. When she starts to change her mind, you will be able to tell if you know about these main signs.

Here are the top signs that indicate your ex wants you back and wants to give your relationship another shot:

You Hear From Her Without Warning

Ex Wants to Get Back Together PhoneSince you have been taking time apart, you probably don’t communicate very often. However, once she is interested in getting back together with you, she will start contacting you out of the blue. If a woman chooses to reach out to an ex, this means that she still has feelings and wants to see how he feels about her. Women do not choose to call or contact exes that they no longer have feelings for. This means that if she call you, you still have a chance with her. The thing about women, is that they can be a lot more secretive than men and know how to mask their feelings really well. This means that when she call you out of the blue she most likely won’t let on that she still has feelings for you. Her call will be much more casual than that. You have to be able to read between the lines and see that her contacting you is actually her way of showing that she is still interested without having to say the words.

She might even make up some excuse as to why she is calling you, but no matte how foolproof this excuse sounds, you need to see through it. When she contacts you after you have broken up, there is a deeper reason. This means that you need to let her chase you and start playing hard to get. Do not sound overly interested on the phone. She will see you as a guy that is confident if you let her start to pursue you.

She Shows Up

The thing about exes, is that you know where to find one another. This comes in handy when you want to avoid an ex after a relationship because you know the places that they go. However, if she starts to turn up at places that you have always gone to in eth past, this means that she is on the lookout for you. There really aren’t that many accidents when it comes to bumping into an ex. In most cases, one person is trying to find the other. If she starts showing up out of the blue, she is actually looking for you. When she turns up where she knows you will be, do not be surprised if she acts surprised. She wants you to think that she wasn’t actually on the lookout for you. However, you are on to her game and will not be fooled.

It is not a coincidence that she finds herself at your hangout. If she is trying to track you down, it won’t be that difficult to restart the relationship. She is clearly still interested in you and now the ball is in your court. Always use a little caution when you are willing to get back together with a girl that displays these type of stalkerish tendencies. She might be a bit of a clinger, which could cause problems in the future. Make sure that you are really into her before you decide to get back together with this type of ex.

Facebook-LikeSocial Media Interaction

If you haven’t actually spoken to your ex for a while and they start liking your Facebook posts, this is a sign that they are still into you. They are trying to send out the subtle message that they are still thinking about you. You do not like Facebook posts for someone that you don’t care about. She is trying to get you to notice her without putting herself out there too much. This really is the simplest way to show your ex that you still care. She is not looking through your posts and pictures on Facebook for no reason. You need to see through this maneuver. Since she is going to be subtle, you have got to be the one to make the next move. Just know that she is interested.

How to make your ex-girlfriend jealous!

Jealousy is a vice.

For centuries, being jealous has been looked down upon. It is not considered to be an attribute of a nice person. However, jealousy has to be deconstructed. It has to be put in the right context. When it comes to jealousy in a relationship, a bit of it is great. None of it or too much of it is fatal.

Before we dive into how to make your ex-girlfriend jealous, let us understand why jealousy is so important. Why would you feel jealous about anything in the first place? The seed of jealousy lies in the fact that you don’t have something that you want or somebody has something that you don’t and you would rather be in his or her shoes. This want or longing is the foundation of jealousy. It may also be seen as a manifestation of greed or ambition when it is seen in professional or materialistic contexts. In relationships, jealousy is a manifestation of the reality that someone is afraid of losing you or that someone is not happy having lost you.

It has begun

If you succeed in how to make your ex-girlfriend jealous, then that can be the first step to win her back.

The age old or evergreen strategy to make a former love interest jealous is to be seen with another woman. If that woman is known to her, it is better. If your ex-girlfriend did not like that woman very much to begin with, it is even better. Women don’t like losing to men when it comes to relationships. But more than that, women don’t like to lose to other women, certainly not when it comes to the same man. Now, you shouldn’t just tell your ex-girlfriend that you are dating or seeing someone. The trick is to show, not tell. You should be seen with a new girl in your social circles, at partying hotspots and wherever you used to be. If are you seen often with the girl and if you manage to bump into your ex girlfriend more often than once, then you would certainly make her feel uncomfortable. That is the first step to feeling jealous.

Emma-selfieThe trick is…

There is a caveat to the aforementioned strategy. You cannot be seen with just any random girl. She has to be prettier, sexier, hotter or more intelligent than your ex-girlfriend. If she is prettier and more intelligent than her, voila! The reality is if you settle for someone inferior to your ex-girlfriend, she would feel pity. She could even feel happy. She wouldn’t feel jealous if she is superior to that girl in more than one way. Your date must be able to trump your ex, if not totally then at least in an area where your ex-girlfriend is vulnerable.

Communication = Ended

You need to learn the art of ignoring. You cannot stay in touch with your ex-girlfriend the way you used to and expect her to feel jealous. It is very common for girls to end a relationship, which obviously ends all the mushy romances and sex, but keeps the friendship alive. Which means you would still be doing certain things that you had been doing as a boyfriend but only now you don’t get laid and you don’t get the special treatment. That is a disaster. Ignore her but not entirely, else you would emerge as a jerk and your ex-girlfriend would feel content that she called it quits. Be with her just to make your presence felt, that you exist but ignore her completely. Don’t acknowledge your past with her or that you are weak for her.

Online Tells All!

Use social networks or social media to your advantage. Get tagged with people having fun, but don’t overdo it. Get tagged on photos with beautiful women. Be seen and tagged at popular hotspots in your city. Be visibly happy but also poised. Elegance is the key. You cannot suddenly appear like a free beast because then the girl would question herself if she knew you at all.

Facebook RapeSet up a fake Facebook Rape

If you do not already know what Facebook Rape is it is where someone gets on your Facebook Profile without your permission and updates your status to something embarrassing or funny.

You need to update your Facebook status yourself, but make it look like another girl did it as a Facebook Rape. Shortly after a few comments come through, you need to comment on it.

Some Facebook Rape Example Messages:

“Ashley is the most beautiful girl in the whole world! She’s so awesome!”

Then, a few minutes later, add a comment saying:

“Funny Funny Girl, I can not leave my phone around you anymore! ;)”

If you are still friends on Facebook with your ex, I assure you she will see and read this, and just the thought of you with another girl will cause jealousy. But even if you two are no longer friends chances are you are still friends with a couple of her friends. And one of her friends will see and and send screenshots or show your ex in person of your “Facebook Rape”.

If you are consistently posting positive and attractive posts to your Facebook, you should make your profile public so if the two of you are not ‘friends’ she can still see everything and get jealous.

Don’t miss this

Most importantly, don’t appear to be fake! You would obviously do a few things that you may not want to do which is why you must do them within a certain limit so you don’t appear to be on a hyperbole. Don’t exaggerate. Don’t try to do something that looks completely odd. You should remain or be the man that your ex-girlfriend liked or wanted and yet you should have fun the way you would have and how the world would want you to.

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What it all Boils Down To…

The secret to make your ex-girlfriend jealous is to ensure that she regrets not being with you. She should long for your company and would rather want you for herself than giving you away for others, which would include your social circle, a new girl and your close friends.